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35 Comments

  1. Melissa
    March 20, 2020 @ 8:48 am

    Thank you for writing this. I needed to hear this today <3
    Sending you a socially distant hug and wishing you all the luck with your new date!

    Reply

    • Lauren
      March 20, 2020 @ 12:20 pm

      Sending you a virtual hug back!!!

      Reply

  2. Annie
    March 20, 2020 @ 9:30 am

    Thank you for this Lauren! Much needed! June 6 bride and we have selected a backup date of August 7th. Same boat as you, people ask if things aren’t better by then what will we do! I’m 34, so we will not be pushing any further than that and will just have to roll with whatever comes! Hang in there!

    Reply

    • Lauren
      March 20, 2020 @ 12:33 pm

      You too, Annie! <3

      Reply

  3. Lindsey
    March 20, 2020 @ 10:14 am

    Lauren, this was so beautifully written and so heartfelt. I’m happy to hear you were able to postpone. 🖤

    Reply

    • Lauren
      March 20, 2020 @ 12:34 pm

      Thanks so much, Lindsey. And me too! ❤️

      Reply

  4. Danielle Coutieri
    March 20, 2020 @ 10:45 am

    We have postponed our April 4 wedding. We were not fortunate enough to get a date later this year. So we have To postpone until next April. I can’t fathom that I have to wait another whole year to get married but we really can’t do anything about it.

    Reply

    • Lauren
      March 20, 2020 @ 12:34 pm

      I’m so sorry, Danielle. Sending so much love to you.

      Reply

  5. Jamie
    March 20, 2020 @ 10:55 am

    Thank you so much for this. We just postponed our April 25th wedding to July 18th. We feel very lucky that all of our vendors are free and that we can have the same wedding, just on a different day. My fiancé’s mom is battling cancer and we just so badly want her to be well on that day. This has been so hard. I appreciate how many people have reached out, but sometimes the endless questions aren’t helpful–they just add more anxiety.

    Reply

    • Lauren
      March 20, 2020 @ 12:36 pm

      Oh man, that’s a lot of things to be dealing with at once. I’m so sorry, Jamie. I’m glad you are able to postpone though! Sending so much love to you, your fiance, and his mom. Stay healthy and hold tight to each other!

      Reply

  6. Jessica
    March 20, 2020 @ 1:12 pm

    While reading this with tears in my eyes, I literally thought out loud “is someone in my head writing my thoughts”? To an absolute T the exact feelings I am having. Nobody quite understands as we are dealing with something that no one has ever been through before. Thank you for sharing. I needed to hear this so badly. Although it doesn’t fix anything for our unknown postponement of our wedding from originally May 16, it helped to see I’m not crazy for feeling this way. Thank you!

    Reply

  7. Lydia Crawford
    March 20, 2020 @ 2:38 pm

    Last week, we postponed our March 28th wedding. It’s hard to believe that we had to cancel two weeks out, and I have no idea how I’ll feel next Saturday. It was the right decision. The guilt you described was everything we’d been feeling for a month. It honestly just stopped being fun, and we realized this wasn’t how a wedding was supposed to feel. We’ve postponed for September because we also didn’t want to wait until 2021.

    Reply

  8. Nicole
    March 20, 2020 @ 10:18 pm

    I also was planning to be married May 24! Everything you wrote is exactly how i’ve been feeling and what i’ve been going through. Thank you for sharing this and letting me know it’s okay to feel the way I do!

    Reply

  9. Liz
    March 21, 2020 @ 6:33 am

    Thank you for writing. I also planned to be married on May 24. My fiancé and I decided to make the call next week… we are torn between rescheduling for the fall or May of 2021. Your words were spot on and i appreciate reading your thoughts and feelings because it seems people around me just don’t get it. Thank you!

    Reply

  10. Stephanie
    March 21, 2020 @ 12:30 pm

    Definitely needed this! So thank you. Our original date was May 30th. Our story is quite similar to yours, we’ve already been engaged over 2 years and don’t want to wait until next year. We are now on for September 11th and praying for the best! Lots of love to all the brides going through it right now, we’re in this together! ❤️

    Reply

  11. Shannon
    March 22, 2020 @ 6:30 am

    Thank you!!! This is everything I’ve been feeling. Our wedding is on April 4th and we’ve made the decision to get married anyway, in our backyard with just the two of us and hold the big wedding in August. One of the hardest decisions we’ve ever made cause we’ve been waiting for almost 18 months already!! We don’t want to wait any longer.

    Reply

  12. Cassie
    March 22, 2020 @ 10:19 am

    Thank you so much for this! We postponed out May 2nd date to August 15th. As frustrating as it is, we planned long and hard for this and I want everyone to be there and to be healthy. This to shall pass, and the new date will be everything we dreamed of and better then the first. Best of luck to all you brides and we are in this together❤️

    Reply

  13. Rachael
    March 22, 2020 @ 7:57 pm

    We had to postpone our April wedding for the end of August as well. I’m definitely feeling more optimistic about it then I was last week and all of my vendors are available which seems like it was meant to be. I have had a few skeptics say, “what happens if COVID-19 is still around in August” but at this moment not something I want to and can think about. We will just play it all by ear!!!

    Reply

  14. Amanda
    March 23, 2020 @ 9:29 pm

    Thank you, Lauren, for this beautiful and heart-felt letter. My wedding is in early August and every day brings new waves of emotion with it. It’s hard to stay optimistic when the world seems to be telling you ‘no,’ but this virus too shall pass.

    Reply

  15. Beck
    March 24, 2020 @ 7:40 am

    Thank you so much for writing this, it made me have (another) little cry. Your words really help x

    Reply

  16. Chelsea
    March 24, 2020 @ 1:56 pm

    Thank you for writing this… it’s like you were in my head! It’s so helpful to know that we’re not alone. You hit every point right on the head, down to the feelings of guilt and shame for feeling upset over our weddings when the whole world is battling a pandemic.

    We’ll get through it eventually and will have even more of a reason to celebrate. Stay strong, beautiful brides!

    Reply

  17. Barrett
    March 25, 2020 @ 12:38 am

    Thank you for this. ❤️ My wedding is scheduled for May 24th as well. It was good to hear from someone who has made a decision. Our lives feel so up in the air right now. I feel like this decision and responsibility will ultimately fall on me. It’z hard to feel sad about my wedding instead of excited.

    Reply

  18. Bella
    March 25, 2020 @ 2:26 pm

    Thank you for writing this. It is 100% how I feel. I’m a June 20 bride with a destination wedding in Italy and each day it gets harder to stay hopeful that things will be okay by then. We started tentatively talking about a Plan B last night—pushing the wedding back a year so we can have the same date and legally getting married in a small ceremony with our families on our date this year. I didn’t want a 2021 wedding because I have a weird thing where I like even numbers so much more, but my desire to have a June wedding rather than settle for a random fall date is greater than my bizarre dislike of odd numbers. Considering calling it 20.06.20 Part II: The I Do Redo. Same date, one year later. It’s hard because we’ve been planning this beautiful wedding for 1.5 years, but I don’t want it to be where people are afraid to come and end up with only ~20 guests after putting so much work into everything. I feel like we’ll have a better shot at our key people coming if we have the big party next year, but still get legally married this year. The more I think about it, I can’t complain about getting to wear my dress and veil twice and basically being a bride two years in a row. It does feel very unfair to not be able to be excited right now, and I agree with the statement that we’ve seen so many weddings before ours go off perfectly fine so I go into a dark place of WHY ME. Glad to know I’m not alone in this feeling. I also agree that we should not be made to feel bad about our emotions just because of the current situation. It sucks and we’re allowed to grieve. I hope all goes well with your new date!

    Reply

    • Lyndsey
      April 9, 2020 @ 6:42 pm

      I’m the same way with the years!! We’re July 24. Praying it’s resolved by then.

      Reply

  19. Bella
    March 25, 2020 @ 2:35 pm

    Thank you for writing this. It is 100% how I feel. I’m a June 20 bride with a destination wedding in Italy and each day it gets harder to stay hopeful that things will be okay by then. We started tentatively talking about a Plan B last night—pushing the wedding back a year so we can have the same date and legally getting married in a small ceremony with our families on our date this year. I didn’t want a 2021 wedding because I have a weird thing where I like even numbers so much more, but my desire to have a June wedding rather than settle for a random fall or winter date is greater than my bizarre dislike of odd numbers. Considering calling it 20.06.20 Part II: The I Do Redo. Same date, one year later. It’s hard because we’ve been planning this beautiful wedding for 1.5 years, but I don’t want it to be where people are afraid to come and end up with only ~20 guests after putting so much work into everything. I feel like we’ll have a better shot at our key people coming if we have the big party next year, but still get legally married this year. The more I think about it, I can’t complain about getting to wear my dress and veil twice and basically being a bride two years in a row. It does feel very unfair to not be able to be excited right now, and I agree with the statement that we’ve seen so many weddings before ours go off perfectly fine so I go into a dark place of WHY ME. Glad to know I’m not alone in this feeling. I also agree that we should not be made to feel bad about our emotions just because of the current situation. It sucks and we’re allowed to grieve. I hope all goes well with your new date!

    Reply

  20. Kim
    March 28, 2020 @ 10:48 am

    Thank you so much for writing this. My fiancé and I were planning to get married In Chicago June 20th we’ve been engaged for over a year and a half and now all of this happening has left us with the same guilt you’ve experienced.

    His bachelor trip was planned for March madness; cancelled
    My bridal shower was April 4th; cancelled
    My bachelorette was heading to Mexico April 30th; cancelled

    We’ve sat here for 2 weeks in such disbelief and uncertainty and like most of the other women here we had to ask ourselves what the best option for us was and for our guests.

    We have been holding on till the very last minute to try and make our wedding this year work. My fiancé and I have been together 7 years that’s right 7 YEARS and we both have put so much effort (like every other engaged couple) and waited so long for this and for everything we looked forward too right before. (And I too have a very weird thing with even number so I really enjoyed 06.20.20)

    Unfortunately our venue doesn’t have anything available this year being in such high demand so we are looking at June of next year. After thinking long and hard about what we want as a couple we decided we can’t wait another year to legally be married.

    We are planning get legally married on our day this year and to post pone our ceremony and reception till next year in June and still be able to have all the events we looked forward too that got cancelled due to this pandemic.

    It’s not fair and I hurt for every engaged couple who has had to go through this. But remember this day is about the love you two share for each other and the beginning of your life together. You decide how you want your wedding to go and you will have the wedding of your dreams you may just have to be a little bit patient.

    Reply

  21. Taylor
    March 28, 2020 @ 12:15 pm

    Lauren, reading this article meant so very much to me! Our wedding is planned for June 20th, and we have been struggling with the decision to cancel or postpone. I related to every point you made. I don’t want my guests getting sick because we chose to go ahead with the wedding, and I’m afraid we will have few attendees regardless due to the fears.
    It feels like no one understands either. My girlfriends and my mom tell me it isn’t a big deal, and our love is what matters, not the ceremony. I know that’s true, and that they mean well… but they all got their dream weddings, on time, with all the joy that comes with the season. My bridal shower had already been canceled. They don’t know how difficult it is to plan and dream for so long, your entire life, and have your hopes crushed by a global pandemic. I keep saying, “why this year? Couldn’t it have been any other time? Does the universe not want me to get married? No one else had to deal with a pandemic ruining their wedding plans!” It feels so selfish to think this way, but your article really has made me feel better, and like I’m not alone in this! There are others out there who get it! You are absolutely right in saying that we need to be thankful for our fiancés and what we have, because we are truly lucky to have found love, but it’s also important to recognize that it’s okay to feel that this part of our lives is a little unfair, because, well, it is.
    Thank you so much <3

    Reply

  22. Melissa
    March 29, 2020 @ 7:43 am

    What a good read! We are also scheduled to get married May 24,2020 and have a back up date planned but our venue isn’t being very helpful. We wanted to postpone till next year because 95% of our guest are from out of town so traveling is a must and we don’t know how long this will last or the financial burden our guest are/will be in after this. Along with being a bride, I’m a nurse and a student so I asked them to please consider that and let us move our date a year back and they refused. This is such a stressful situation as the only dates we were offered were during the week.

    Reply

  23. Sami
    March 30, 2020 @ 4:46 am

    My heart does break for all the brides going through this. I am a bride that’s wedding was struck my tragedy, my wedding was on Oct 11 2019, however one week before Oct 4th my beautiful niece was in a horrible car accident. In just one week my bridal shower and bachelorette party was canceled as I could not go on. My heart hurt I couldn’t focus on my wedding all I could do was think about my niece and if she would wake up. We were unable to postpone the wedding because we didn’t have more time of work, all the travel, and so on. So my wedding day came and I made the decision to not replace my nieces part in the wedding, her mom (my sister/bridesmaid) did not come, my other sister (my nieces aunt) missed pictures, was there to stand by me, and then felt right after I Do’s to go back to the hospital. Because on my wedding day they tried to wake my niece up (she did not wake up that day, it was another week before she opened her eyes). I am not here to try to top what is going on with any bride, I am here to tell you my story and tell you that even with my world crashing down around me it was still the best night of my life, and in the end all that really mattered to me was that I got to marry my best friend!! I had so many people not there that were people I never thought I would get married without. My storm was unpredictable, it shattered me and brought me to my knees. But to all you brides right now in the middle of your storms. I can tell you this too shall pass, and no matter what you choose your day is going to be everything you want and more!! I know a date can be so special but I can promise you what ever date you get married will be your right date, and it will the best day of your life!!

    From one bride that went through a storm. I stand by you all!! And I wish for healing for all!! Stay positive Brides you have the person of your dreams and nothing can change that or the love you have for each other ♥️!!

    Reply

  24. Yolanda Mack
    March 31, 2020 @ 8:01 pm

    If someone would of told me I’ll be grieving my wedding day I would laugh. But, since all this has taken place I’ve been having some really tough day’s. I’ve tried to not burden my love ones because I know they not feeling my pain! My wedding day was April 11th. We’ve planned and legit went from getting all excited, nervous, anxious and more as the days were coming closer to now having to wait a year until our day. Everyone keep saying just elope and have everything later but even now eloping is difficult with everything closing and the whole stay in place orders! I’m devastated, angry, pissed, and all the above because I got my hopes up for our day to be let down! My venue didn’t have any more available dates for 2020 and that alone was heartbreaking! I’m tired of hearing, talking and dealing with this virus and sad that it took sooooo much from sooooo many people! So it’s good to know I’m not alone but breaks my heart to know I’m not alone in this bc there’s others who’s feeling like me! 🥺

    Reply

  25. Stephanie
    April 3, 2020 @ 7:52 am

    Can I just say how thankful I am to see all these fellow brides leaving comments. I appreciate this post more than you know. Thank you for saying the things I needed to hear, and understanding the feelings I have but have yet to let myself feel. Our wedding is July 3rd, and though it seems like a safe month for now, there is not way of knowing whats to come. I am sincerely thinking of you all, who have had to already make that difficult decision to postpone your wedding day. We WILL get through this, walking down an aisle after all of this is going to feel like so much more!

    Reply

  26. Hope
    April 5, 2020 @ 9:04 am

    I NEEDED THIS! Thank you so much for taking the time to write this letter. I hope it was as cathartic to write and it was to read. We postponed our April 17th to June 5th, as recommended by our planner. Now we are terrified we will need to postpone again. We recognize the importance of everyone’s safety, but your right…it’s so hard not to feel selfish and want the day we have saved and sacrificed for the past year and a half. Sending love to all of my fellow brides! Hoping our sacrifice will help save lives 💗

    Reply

  27. Rachel
    April 7, 2020 @ 6:01 pm

    We did justwhat you mentioned! We were May 4, and the travel restrictions had originally put us JUST out of the range of original social distancing guidelines. We decided to postpone, and I’m so glad we did. Now we are struggling to choose a new date later this year or same day but next year. It’s tough when we were so close!!!! But we are already civilly married, this was our church wedding. At least everything is already planned so we can just relax until it’s time. Good luck!!

    Reply

  28. Kamarin
    April 9, 2020 @ 11:12 am

    My wedding was May 23 and we just postponed as well. We’ve been engaged about 1.5 years and we have some big football people in our wedding party and as guests so our time window was already small! We are still going to legally get married on May 23 (bc everything we own says May 23 and we don’t want to wait) and have rescheduled our reception for mid July. If things aren’t better by then… then we’ll figure it out. Loved this post!!

    Reply

  29. Charlie
    April 11, 2020 @ 1:06 am

    Thank you for putting everything that has been running through my head into words. I feel petty every time I think about my cancelled bridal shower and bachelorette weekend, but then I realize I am allowed to be petty sometimes. I totally understand the feeling of are weddings just not going to be for me? Am I going to hold this grudge against wedding scenes in movies forever? I’m supposed to get married on July 11th, and even though that’s not tomorrow or even next month, it still doesn’t feel far enough away from this craziness. My whole family is supposed to travel to be here, and I’ll be lucky if I have 5 family members show up now. I pray for all you ladies and we are allowed to grieve all our plans and dreams

    Reply

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